I was in a long-term relationship in my early twenties. We were high school sweethearts. We had amazing chemistry; we understood each other and were totally compatible. But four years in and we realised we both want different things in life. We saw no point in dragging the weight of a futureless relationship and decided to end things.
I took the break-up very hard and even had to take counselling to get over it. Slowly and steadily, I moved on. As I didn’t want to go through all the work of a new relationship, I asked my parents to find a guy for me to marry. They did, and we are getting married next month.
I never deleted the pictures with my ex, and now that I am getting married, I was in the dilemma of whether I should delete them or not. After thinking about this a lot, I decided to delete those pictures and here are my reasons:
1. It might make your new partner insecure.
The fact that there are still photos of your ex lying around may not be exciting for your new beau. They may even feel like it’s a bit threatening, especially if they are insecure.
If the pictures you have are offensive to your new partner, throw them away. Your future is more important than your past.
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But remember, after all is said and done, it’s up to you what you want to do with your past. If you want to be sensitive to your new partner’s feelings about your photographs with your ex, that’s fine. However, if you feel uncomfortable deleting these photos, let your partner know.
2. It shows a lack of commitment.
Having pictures of your ex on your social media or at home shows that you are not serious about committing to another person because your heart is still with your ex.
Your fiance may take this as a message that you aren’t ready for another huge commitment just yet and are just looking to play the field and keep things as casual as possible. This is not a message you want to give to the person you are about to get married to in a few months.
3. It won’t let you move on.
If you’re having a hard time getting over your ex, you’ll definitely want to keep their photographs as far away as possible.
With their photos around, you’ll keep remembering your ex every time you see these pics. And that makes it much harder to get over the pain of breaking up. You may not need to destroy or delete the photos permanently but keep them somewhere that won’t be immediately visible to you, so you don’t have to suffer emotional distress constantly.
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Also Read: A Guide: Friends With An Ex is Good or Bad
4. By staring at them you might forget why you broke up with your ex in the first place.
Keeping tabs on your ex on social media can will increase your current distress over the breakup, increase negative emotions, increase your sexual desire, increase your desire for your former partner, and slow your personal growth. And even if you block them, you don’t want to keep perfectly filtered photos of your relationship.
By staring at those pictures, you will have a greater desire to get back into a relationship with them because you envision the best times you two have spent together. You have this positive image of what your relationship was like, and if you still cling on to it, it will be difficult for you to move on.
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Ultimately, when it comes to dealing with you and your ex’s photos, the ball is entirely in your court. But if having them negatively affects your healing process or upsets your current partner, it’s best to leave the past in the past.