Holiday blues. We all have suffered from feeling down or lonely at this time! Seeing all those supposedly happy couples going gift shopping…while you are alone. Wondering if you doomed to a miserable holiday if your relatives drive you crazy. Or perhaps you are feeling nervous about introducing your family to a serious date, someone who could be the One?
Does your mom always cluck about what a shame it is that you are still single? Even if your family is a battlefield, or you are super stressed-out you can cope with the holiday blues by using my ten hacks for singles. So that you can turn those traditional family gatherings into real festivities.
Holiday Blues Hack 1. Bring spirituality back into the holiday.
Pray, meditate or simply spend time in nature alone or with your loved ones. This offers you ‘peace on earth’ that is much more fulfilling than unwrapping a hundred gifts. It is truly caring for yourself!
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Holiday Blues Hack 2. Do three random acts of kindness every day during the holiday season.
Unselfish acts of giving where you expect nothing in return are super good for your own health and mood. You will immediately feel uplifted, even if you were feeling down to begin with. So get on your phone and call someone who needs help. You will be amazed at the difference in your mood!
Holiday Blues Hack 3. Shock your troublesome relatives into being cordial
List three things, even small things, like hair color or crossword puzzle ability, you truly appreciate about them. Work these things into your conversation in an authentic way at the beginning of the family visit. This will tend to shock these ‘bad eggs’ into being ‘good eggs.’ And you will have a much more pleasant holiday celebration!
Holiday Blues Hack 4. Use the therapist’s secret.
When you’re facing a difficult relative, win by refusing to fight. Accept comments that used to upset you with a nod and say “That’s the way you see it.” This really throws them and saves you from verbal sparring and a lot of holiday stress.
Holiday Blues Hack 5. Neutralize joy-kill fighting among your kids.
If you’re a single mom, get all of your kids, even your youngest, into helping to prepare for the holiday. Have them set the table, decorate, slice and dice. This key piece of family relationship advice will engage the children’s attention, give them something to be proud of and stop any fighting.
And before we continue with the rest of the tips I have a holiday gift for you. If you are struggling with the holiday blues or dealing with a difficult dating or relationship issue contact me ASAP. Because I will personally match you with a gifted coach for a zero-cost session. So invest in yourself this holiday season.
Holiday Blues Hack 6. Set your intention for this holiday.
You can make up your mind to have a happy holiday, no matter what your family relationships are like. Make a self-loving affirmation like: “This is the happiest Christmas or Hanukkah I’ve ever had.” Remember to use the present tense. Instead of engaging in family relationship battles, as soon as it’s possible, give yourself your own fun—excuse yourself and go for a walk, get your favorite Starbucks java or make snow angels with the kids.
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Holiday Blues Hack 7. Stop worrying about looking good.
For example, you’re having friends over for dinner and you’re nervous. Realize that it’s not about having a house or a meal that is perfect: it’s about what it feels like when people come into your house. In fact, if you’re all-consumed with the decorations, table setting and the food being perfect, you’ll end up exhausted, or miserable. Your real job is to create a welcoming atmosphere full of celebration, fun and joy. And you can do it!
Holiday Blues Hack 8. Create a tradition of personal sharing and gratitude.
Around the dinner table ask each family member to talk about favorite memories of the holiday, especially the blessings and small miracles they experienced. Have them share what they are most thankful for on this special day. Research shows that the happiest people are the ones who are grateful for what they have. This will lift your mood big-time!
Holiday Blues Hack 9. Set up a positive bond when a new boy/girlfriend comes to holiday dinner.
Here’s some key family relationship advice when introducing a new love interest. Beforehand, tell both the family and your friend all the “good news” about each other. Then, introduce discussion topics both have interest in. Even if you are the newbie in the family, bring an incredibly thoughtful gift for the occasion, ask questions and listen a lot. Finally, appreciate any and all good things about the meal, the house and the family members and remember to tell them what you enjoyed!
Holiday Blues Hack 10. Give the gift of quality time.
Give a massage, a long walk-and-talk, a romantic getaway or a family trip that involves giving of yourself. Your time and attention are the most valuable gifts of all. Wishing you lots of love during the holidays and way beyond! Xoxo Dr. Diana