Losing your sexual appetite isn’t unusual. Stress, emotional distress, changes in diet or routine, or just simply being too busy, can all lead to a loss of libido.
But you don’t have to accept that this is your life now. Whether you’re flying solo or have a partner, there are plenty of ways you can rebuild your interest in sex.
1. Read or Watch Erotica
In the age of the internet, there are plenty of ways to access erotic films. You’ll find legitimate websites full of all different kinds of preferences, from specific interests or fetishes, to more general erotica. You can also easily find books or short stories on ebook sellers like Amazon Kindle. The best part is if you’re feeling shy about it, no one has to know!
Erotica can really help to get you in the mood or give you some ideas for new fantasies. It might be all you need to get the juices flowing, both physically and metaphorically.
2. Boost your Dopamine Levels
Dopamine is important for how we feel pleasure in our bodies. It’s the chemical that allows our nerve cells to send and receive messages. When these levels are low, our bodies struggle to feel pleasure and our senses aren’t quite as active. This could be part of why you’re not feeling very sexual.
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The good news is that there are several ways to naturally raise your dopamine levels. Something as simple as trying out a new activity can do this for you. Make it something that excites you, though. If you’re interested in cooking or trying new cuisine, take a cooking class. If you enjoy adrenaline, try zip lining or bungee jumping.
3. Get Moving
We don’t mean moving in the bed. Although a new position or style can help to bring back the spark. Simply getting your body active in your daily life can increase your sex drive. Exercise can help you to reconnect with your body and enjoy the way it moves.
You could also try going out dancing, either with friends or with your partner. The idea is to feel your body, love how it moves, and get those endorphin levels up.
4. Set Aside Time for Reconnecting with Yourself
A busy lifestyle can be an instant mood killer. You don’t always have time to focus on yourself, meaning your personal well-being (including your sex drive) gets neglected.
Start by actively carving out time in your calendar for doing the things that you like to do. This could be ensuring that you spend half an hour reading before going to bed, going hiking once a month, or having a date night every two weeks. You’ll be amazed at how having your “me time” can get you back in the mood.
5. Dress Up a Little
Lockdowns may be a thing of the past, but many of us have enjoyed the change in lifestyle and haven’t gone back to working in an office or going out regularly. This has led to people not getting dressed up as often. So there’s no sexy underwear or wearing that outfit you look good in.
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Even if you aren’t going out, wear an outfit or lingerie that makes you feel sexy. A little change like this can definitely help you to get in the mood.
6. Get Comfortable with your Body
When you don’t know or love your body, it can be difficult to feel attractive—even to yourself. There is no way you can have a healthy sex drive if you aren’t comfortable with your body.
The best way to get comfortable and to learn what you want sexually is to experiment. Take some time to try touching different parts of yourself and figure out what you really like. Once you’re comfortable doing this, you’ll be able to communicate better with your partner about what works for you.
7. Use Toys and Props
Toys and props in the bedroom can be a great way to fire up your sex drive. You may want to learn how to use a dildo or vibrator to enhance your solo pleasure, or to boost the intensity of sex with a partner.
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Feathers, sexy dress-up or role-playing outfits, and other toys like handcuffs or blindfolds can bring some excitement to the mix too. Don’t be shy to experiment.
8. Talk to a Sex Coach
A sex coach or sex therapist can help to pinpoint what you’re struggling with and give you some great inspiration for how to change things up in the bedroom. Remember, you don’t have to be in a relationship to seek out the advice of an expert. You may find that this helps you to get comfortable with your body, improve your sex drive, and make you more open to finding a partner—if you want to.
Be Kind to Yourself if Things Have Changed
We are constantly changing physically, emotionally, and mentally. These changes can all have an impact on our lives and our sex drive. You need to remember to be kind to yourself and accept these changes. If you can do this, you can take positive steps to rekindle what might’ve gotten lost along the way.