7 Things Marriage Isn’t



So often singles believe the key to finding happiness lies in getting married. But making our happiness dependent on another person is sure to set us up for unhappiness with our spouse, in marriage, and overall in life.

If we’re not happy before marriage, we most likely won’t be happy in it. The Apostle Paul gives the key to being happy, saying he has learned to be content regardless of his circumstances. “I know how to live humbly, and I know how to abound. I am accustomed to any and every situation—to being filled and being hungry, to having plenty and having need” (Philippians 4:12).

Plus God has a deeper purpose in marriage than mere happiness. Within this sacred union, godly characteristics go through a refining process, developing and maturing over a lifetime together. Proverbs 27:17 explains, how “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

In marriage, true spiritual growth is cultivated from the inside out, including a joy that doesn’t fade or go away even during life’s toughest moments. Galatians 5:22,23 describes where true joy comes from, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

4. Marriage Isn’t Connecting with a Soul Mate

The world proposes that we find our “soul mate” in life, setting many singles off on a life-long quest to find their one-and-only soul mate. But the truth is, God is the only one who can truly be our soul mate. 

Genesis 2:7 describes how God created our souls, “Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breather into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being [soul].”

Sadly, looking for the elusive “soul mate” causes many singles to overlook or pass over godly possibilities for marriage. It also causes some husbands and wives to leave their current spouses, thinking they made a mistake and missed connecting with a one-and-only soul mate.

But Ezekiel 18:4 explains how every soul belongs to God. So who better than the One who created our souls, and died to save our souls from destruction, to be the One who fulfills this role in our lives?

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